Getting divorced is likely to be one of the most stressful and difficult events you will ever have to face. If you and your spouse have decided that your relationship cannot be salvaged and it’s time for you to go your separate ways, you may be wondering how to best navigate this process.
In this guide, we’ll discuss a service that can help you connect with a fantastic divorce coach, so you and your soon-to-be-ex can cut ties and start fresh with the best support available.
Where to find a divorce coach
Below, we’ve looked at a service you can use to find a nearby divorce coach.
ReGain is an online relationship counseling and coaching platform, that you can use during your divorce process to receive the emotional support you need to move forward with your life.
The platform has a number of qualified, experienced divorce coaches that you (and possibly your partner) can connect with.
The sign-up process
When you sign up for ReGain, you will be taken through a questionnaire that will match you with one of their certified divorce coaches who aligns with your needs and goals. During the sign-up process, you also have the option of inviting your partner to the platform as well.
You will get to choose whether you want a male or female divorce coach, their approximate age, whether they are liberal or conservative, and whether or not they can provide religious or spiritual counseling. ReGain asks you these questions to match you with a divorce coach who understands your beliefs and experiences, so you can feel comfortable and understood throughout the divorce coaching process.
Along with answering questions about what qualities you want your divorce coach to possess, you will also answer questions about your relationship, your reasons for separating, and what your goals are with divorce coaching.
Connecting with your certified divorce coach
Once you complete the questionnaire, you will be matched with one of ReGain’s certified divorce coaches who meets your needs. After you are matched, you will usually hear from your coach within 24 hours.
You have many options for connecting with your divorce coach through ReGain. You can schedule video chats, audio calls, or live messaging sessions at a time that works best for you. These sessions can be accessed right through ReGain’s platform on your desktop, phone, or tablet.
One important thing to mention is that if you choose to go through this process with your spouse, you will both need to use the same device to access your coaching sessions. ReGain’s technology does not yet offer options for long-distance couples or those who are unable to be in the same location as one another.
Therefore, if you and your partner are dealing with a contentious divorce process and are not willing to be in the same room, you may need to look for other options. If your partner is unwilling to attend divorce coaching sessions with you, or you want to get help for just yourself, you can still choose to sign up for individual sessions with a ReGain certified divorce coach.
Along with scheduled divorce coaching sessions, ReGain also offers 24-hour messaging that you can access whenever you need. This is especially helpful whenever you have questions or concerns in between coaching sessions. You can ask about your own pain points, issues that are coming up in your relationship, or any other concerns you may have.
Using the text messaging function, you can send a message to your divorce coach whenever you need to talk and they will respond during business hours with insights, comments, and/or suggestions. All of your messages and coaching sessions are confidential and private as the ReGain platform is fully encrypted.
What is a divorce coach?
A divorce coach is a professional who will help guide you and provide emotional support throughout your divorce process and the transition as you create a new future for yourself.
Divorce is a stressful process with a lot of emotional upheavals to unpack, and it’s a good idea to have as much support as possible in order for you to make the best of this situation.
Much like a therapist or life coach, each divorce coach has different specialties and skill-sets depending on their background. But all divorce coaches will help you to make the right decisions as you move forward in your new life.
Because divorce can be a messy, emotional process, this can sometimes cause you to make poor judgments and act rashly – something that will not end up working in your favor. But a divorce coach can help give you insight and clarity, helping to make the process of moving forward that bit easier.
What happens in a session with a certified divorce coach?
There are several important topics that your divorce coach will cover with you during your coaching sessions.
One of the first issues a divorce coach will evaluate is the emotional intensity between you and your soon-to-be-ex. They will assess the pain points between you both, and begin to uncover the topics that trigger conflicts or emotional responses. These issues relate to topics such as money, your children, infidelity, or abuse.
When your divorce coach is able to understand your underlying triggers, that will help them clear the path towards mediation, so your attorney can move you through the divorce proceedings with the least amount of emotional conflict possible.
A divorce coach will also assess your desires and concerns. They will ask you what you hope to gain from this divorce process, and what your biggest worries are.
Some people may hope to remain on speaking terms in order to keep their family and co-parenting relationship peaceful. Others may wish to put their children first, keep court proceedings amicable, or even ensure that their money gets split fairly. Understanding what your hopes and concerns are will help your divorce coach manage any potential trigger points as well as provide the best support and guidance possible.
In addition to discussions about your relationship, your divorce coach will also want to know whether you both have hired an attorney or accountant, and how prepared or unprepared you feel about the legal side of your divorce process. These types of questions will help your divorce coach gauge where you need the most support.
How much does a divorce coach cost?
When considering the cost of divorce coaching, it’s important to consider not just the fees they charge clients, but also if they could help to save you money in the long run.
Divorce coaching can potentially help save you thousands in legal fees. Divorce coaches will help you organize your legal documents, develop a clear plan of action, and support you in approaching your divorce as a business transaction rather than a contentious, emotional event. This support can help to lessen the time you need to spend with your attorney, which could save you thousands over the duration of the legal process.
Some divorce coaches can cost $100 an hour, but rates can vary widely depending on experience and specializations. Choosing online divorce coaching through a platform like ReGain will cost around $60-$90 per week.
Why should you use a divorce coach?
Divorce coaches know the ins and outs of the divorce process. They know how to manage and deescalate high conflict situations between their clients, and they understand the legal process and what to expect in court, if you go down this route.
They can help you debrief after meetings with your attorney, act as a mediator between you and your ex (if you are on reasonably good terms), and help you work through the emotional conflicts that arise when discussing your money and financial situation, and your children and custody issues.
It takes a village to get a divorce. You will be dealing with the legal side of things – court dates, lawyer and attorney meetings, child custody arrangements, as well as a dividing of the assets in a financial settlement with potential disputes over money. That’s a lot of meetings and a lot of paperwork with plenty of technical jargon – all of which may be quite overwhelming.
A divorce coach will support you in managing all these technical aspects of your divorce, so you can move forward feeling organized and empowered. There is a mountain of financial and emotional challenges to overcome when going through a separation, and the stress that those challenges cause can feel impossible to navigate on your own. Guidance from a professional divorce coach will help save your sanity so you can focus on your new life.
Essentially, a divorce coach can help you make the best decisions that will benefit your entire family and help you and your ex manage any heavy emotions and knee-jerk reactions that could potentially harm your children and family in the future.
Divorce doesn’t have to be a nightmare. Choosing to enlist the support of a divorce coach will help keep your divorce civil, so you can focus on putting your past behind you, and allowing you to create a new life for yourself and your family.
If you still have questions about divorce coaching, feel free to leave us a comment and we’ll get back to you.
About the author
I am a freelance writer, mental health advocate, and certified meditation teacher with extensive experience in mental and emotional health. After earning my master’s degree in educational psychology, I went on to practice crisis counseling and behavioral therapy.
As a writer, my aim is to utilize my personal and professional experience in mental health to create content that helps readers feel understood and supported. I have been a contributor for The Mighty, Yahoo!, and have ghostwritten for a variety of personal development and wellness websites.
When I’m not writing, you can find me exercising, reading, or playing with my dogs, Doug and Ozzy.