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What to do When Your Girlfriend is Stressed: Cheer Her Up Instantly

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A good number of times, we don’t even know how to deal with ourselves when we’re stressed. So, when it comes to cheering up your girlfriend when she’s stressed, it becomes even tougher.

However, you can’t just sit back and do nothing while your girlfriend is stressing out.

No one wants to see their loved one feeling blue or being under pressure. Not only does it impact you both individually, it also puts a strain on the relationship.

Research shows that stress in a relationship can have a toxic effect to your personal lives.

One study in particular examined 80 couples over a four year period. They found that couples who experience higher level of stress outside of their relationship felt less comfortable and more distant from their partner.

So, let’s have a look at ways you can help your girlfriend relieve her stress to secure your relationship and her happiness.

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1. Talk About Everything and Anything

Start by affirming and recognizing her accomplishments verbally.

At a stressful moment, she might be questioning her strengths and capabilities. Avail yourself to always remind her of what a strong and capable person she is.

Women need constant reassurance even if they might not show it. Taking it upon yourself to be her voice of encouragement will ultimately lift her spirits.

Try to mention examples of all the things she has overcome in the past. That way she’ll be able to understand that you’re not just saying things because you care, but also because they are facts.

Give her honest and heartfelt compliments. Don’t assume that she knows her new dress looks amazing or that the freckles on her cheeks enhance her beauty.

Open up and tell her how amazing you think that new perfume smells on her. That way you’ll be able to make her smile, reducing her stress and at the same time boosting her self-esteem.

Whenever you see doubt in her eyes or she starts negating your compliment, stop her by reassuring her that she does look great. The negativity of her thoughts might be fueling her stress.

Repeat the compliment if necessary and make her say it out loud. Your goal is to inject positivity in her thoughts, and ensure that her good qualities sink into her subconscious.

One of the biggest mistakes you can make when your girlfriend is stressed is trying to “fix” her problem by telling her what she should do. So often, people are confused about what to say to your girlfriend when she is stressed, that they forget to just listen.

Women tend to feel better after expressing themselves. Taking your time to sit her down and just lend her a listening ear will go a long way.

Be the one to initiate the conversation if necessary.

You’ll be showing her that you are interested in listening and you care enough to ask. Let her vent out whatever is bothering her, ultimately reducing her frustrations of the situation.

Listen keenly and help her come up with plausible solutions to the problem. Be sure to follow up on the conversation later, to check on the progress or change.

2. Get Her a Thoughtful Gift

The good thing about stress is it’s usually temporary. So sometimes the best thing you can do for your girlfriend when she’s stressed is to show her you appreciate her by giving her a thoughtful gift. Notice we said thoughtful, not expensive.

If you go out and spend thousands of dollars every time your girlfriend is stressed out, you’ll stress yourself out trying to figure out how to pay for it all.

So what should you get her? We suggest sticking with the classics. But make sure it’s something personalized to her. Here are some suggestions:


You can never wrong with flowers! The problem though is when you get flowers from the grocery store it feels generic and last-minute. Plus your options are pretty limited.

Luckily there are tons of online services that allow you to personalize the experience for your girlfriend. You can use a site like Teleflora, that does same-day delivery so you can cheer her up even if it’s a little last minute!

If you’re interested in trying Teleflora, use coupon code TFCNN20 to save 20% on your first order!


Nothing cheers you up quite like delicious chocolate. And studies have even linked chocolate to stress reduction. But don’t skimp out and get a Snickers bar from 7-11. She deserves a little more than that.

If you really want to give your girlfriend a treat when she’s stressed out, we love Simply Chocolate! The sell a bunch of different options for chocolate gifts that come in a nice presentation (boxes, tins, jars, etc.) and can be personalized for your girlfriend.

It’s hard to be stressed out when you have a tin full of chocolate covered Oreos! (Use promo code 20SC to save 20%)

simplychocolate oreos

Custom Photo Gifts

If you really want to tug at her heartstrings, consider giving your girlfriend a personalized photo gift.

Go through some photos you’ve taken together or even some she’s posted on Instagram. Then use a service like MyPhoto to turn them into personalized keepsakes she can put on her desk at work or around the house.


Try to use photos that will remind her of the great positive times you’ve had in the past. They’ll get her mind off of whatever’s stressing her out and she’ll start thinking of that trip you took out of town or the fun night out you had together. The goal is to re-channel her stress and put her in a more positive state of mind.

One thing you should avoid though is getting gifts like shoes, gift cards and other things that aren’t really sentimental.

Gifts like that might make her feel like you’re trying to “buy” her happiness and you think that just buying a pair of shoes will fix all her problems. In other words, it trivializes her feelings.

Stick to the tried and true types of gifts for girlfriend when she’s stressed out. And when you give them to her, let her know that they’re to show your appreciation for her. For instance, you might say:

“I know these flowers won’t fix everything, but I know how much you love them so I wanted to give you something to let you know I love and appreciate you.”

You might be surprised by how much a good gift can cheer her up!

3. Make Sure She Eats Healthily

Stress may come with a loss of appetite and she may not take care of herself effectively. Your job is to ensure she eats a healthy meal without being too obvious about it because a good diet is crucial for stress relief.

If she realizes you’re trying to feed her, chances are she’ll become stubborn. Yes, it’s for her own good, but you’ll be reminding her she’s even failing herself by not eating and that won’t end well.

So, what do you do?

Take a smart approach.

You can’t be too overt about feeding her, so at intervals, serve yourself healthy snacks and serve her too as a “courtesy.” Make it seem like you’re the one who was interested in eating, but added her to the mix just because.

But be sure not to ask her before you do, because if she says no and you still serve her, it probably won’t go down well. The small fruit potions will ensure she eats healthy and enough to sustain her even without the big meals.

Food is good fuel and will promote emotional resilience and calm. And if you’re eating the right foods, the stress hormone is less likely to be released when she’s eating healthy.

4. Get a Good Night’s Sleep

Stress can cause disruption of sleep, sleeplessness or even difficulty staying asleep all night. Plus, if she doesn’t sleep well, chances are you won’t be able to sleep either.

So, start a routine of pre-bed relaxation. Just casually mention that you’re having trouble sleeping and found some remedy online for better sleep.

The key is to always take the blame.

She’ll realize what you’re doing, but she’ll appreciate you not highlighting her problems.

Creating a peaceful environment for sleep is important:

  • Switch off any electronic devices that may cause disruptions.
  • Dim the lights.
  • Light some soothing candles if you want to.
  • Ensure she stays away from caffeinated drink or food an hour before bed.
  • Offer to give her a massage to relax her more.

Make her as comfortable as possible and in no time, she’ll be able to rest peacefully.

5. Plan a Long Relaxing Weekend

Both of you might not have the luxury of shirking your responsibilities for more than a week. So, surprise her with a weekend getaway.

You don’t need an excuse for this. It’s going to be thoughtful enough that she won’t question you.

The main thing is to make sure the getaway is somewhere she’ll enjoy.

Is there a place she’s been gushing about for a while?

Don’t trust your judgement on what you think she might like. Sometimes girlfriends pretend to like things just to please their partner.

Do research, ask her friends what she might like. Look back at the archives of the conversations you’ve had that she seemed extra excited about. Or maybe photos she posted on Instagram of her dream vacation.

The plan is for you to make her happy and leave behind the stresses that are plaguing her.

You can never discount the value of simplicity.

If you’re unable to have a long weekend, why not try the beach? Even a simple picnic and having date night at a special restaurant will do the trick.

Getting her out of the house and away from her stressors is your top priority. She’s going to be happy just for your thoughtfulness.

6. Create a Chill Out Routine

Giving your girlfriend a reprieve from whatever is weighing her down is what we’re working toward. You can create a chill out routine that helps her relax after a long stressed out day.

It can be simple things like taking a walk in the park. Connecting with mother nature and just breathing in the fresh air of the outdoor works wonders for a weary spirit.

Walk with her (preferably in silence) as she let’s go of the frustrations she has and appreciates nature.

Another chill out routine could just be held indoor. Sit her down and cuddle while watching a movie or listening to music.

Make it a time where you two just reconnect and spend time together. That emotional support will give her a sound board to lean on.

It’ll help her stay grounded and make your bond stronger.

You could also sign the both of you up for couples lessons in whatever you fancy. Pick something fun and carefree that will help her let loose. Maybe even try meditation, deep breathing exercises or a couples massage.

You could even recruit the help of her friends to take her out and just have fun with the girls. Social support from her family and friends will be very vital too.

7. Send Her Thoughtful Texts Throughout the Day

When your girlfriend is stressed, one of the biggest struggles is trying to figure out what to say.

Send the wrong text message and you risk making her even more aggravated than she already is.

Feed her some played out, generic lines, and she might see it as disingenuous. It’s all a balancing game, but one of the best approaches is to keep it simple and thoughtful.

Here are some ideas of what to text your girlfriend when she’s stressed:

  • I miss you: These three simple words will make her feel loved, appreciated and important. Everybody wants to feel wanted, particularly when they’re going through a rough time.
  • Remember that time when [happy memory of the two you you]: When your girlfriend is stressed, a good way to cheer her up is to remind her of a happier and more cheerful time you had together.
  • Do you need anything from [store she likes]: Showering your girlfriend with expensive gifts isn’t a permanent solution for anything. But texting her that you’re thinking of stopping by a store you know she loves (something small and casual like Target or JC Penny perhaps), and offering to get her something will give her an immediate boost of happiness. It shows that you were thinking of her, and she’ll appreciate the thoughtfulness.
  • Can we watch [movie she loves] tonight?: There’s nothing like a relaxing night in with her favorite movie to cheer up your girlfriend. Frame the question like you’re requesting the movie for yourself, even though you’re primarily watching it for her.
  • A relevant quote or poem: Tread very lightly with this one. There are tons of articles about how to cheer up your girlfriend that list a ton of poems and quotes as the solution. However, often times this can come off the wrong way. Sending someone a poem or quote assumes that you know exactly what’s wrong with them or what’s causing them stress. And quite frankly, some women just don’t want to receive your quotes. So make sure it’s something your girlfriend is open to before you send the text.

Therapists Specializing in Stress

Cheering Up Your Girlfriend When She’s Stressed

There are many issues that may come up in a relationship. You taking the initiative to make life better for your girlfriend is a great step in the right direction.

Knowing and understanding the cause of her stress makes you connect with her. Just make sure you’re not one of the reasons she’s stressed out.

By communicating, you’ll be able to find out what it bothering her and how you can solve it. Tell her how you really feel and how much you care about her.

You might think it’s obvious, but maybe it’s not.

Stress can cause a lot of strain in a relationship. Ask for help from friends and family if you feel you can’t handle it on your own. She might be reluctant at first, but eventually, she’ll realize it’s for her own good.

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About the author

I'm an avid reader and love anything to do with mindfulness and mental health!

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