New relationships are supposed to be a magical time as you start your journey with a new partner. Instead of enjoying the ride though, this time is often overtaken by fear and anxiety.
You’ve finally found your person, someone you really clique with. But instead of opening up and letting your true self shine–you’re riddled with insecurities that hold you back.
It starts with the first date jitters. As you get ready, you start to second guess yourself, wondering if there will be a connection – will they accept your quirks, or will they even like you at all?
These thoughts and insecurities can take over and ruin not only a first date, but if left unchecked they can sabotage a new relationship.
Explore emotional well-being with BetterHelp – your partner in affordable online therapy. With 30,000+ licensed therapists and plans starting from only $65 per week, BetterHelp makes self-care accessible to all. Complete the questionnaire to match with the right therapist.
Between bad past relationships and a dating culture where someone can just ghost you – it’s a little nerve-wracking to put yourself out there.
Don’t let these moments define you though.
Your anxiety is your brain tapping into its primal survival state to protect you. Next time you feel your anxiety get the best of you, try these tips to help manage new relationship stress.
1. Don’t Worry About Doing Things “Right”
It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about the “right” way to be in a relationship. You start to worry about if you’re going to fast, or maybe too slow.
You question if you’re seeing each other enough, or not enough.
It can make your head spin!
Remember your relationship is personal and everyone’s experience is different. Do what you feel is right for the both of you.
2. Avoid Overanalyzing With Friends
When you feel anxious in a new relationship, you might want to turn to your friends for advice. Together you can spend hours going over little details trying to figure out what they mean.
Although it might seem effective, it’s extremely counterproductive and can only produce more unnecessary anxiety. You might end up drawing inaccurate conclusions that can end up straining your relationship.
3. Communicate Your Feelings
Instead of stressing and worrying over something by yourself, go to the source.
If you have a question, issue, or just want to talk something out – don’t be afraid to speak up. The worst mistake you can make in a new relationship is miscommunication from not communicating enough.
4. Leave the Past in the Past
We all have our baggage, and sometimes it can be hard to leave that behind. We feel old insecurities start creeping up on us as we get deeper into a new relationship.
You have to remember though; this new relationship is a clean slate and you have to treat it like one.
5. Keep it in Perspective
When you get wrapped inside your anxious thoughts, you can lose perspective on things. A misunderstanding could turn into something larger if you let it fester too long.
Remember to keep those small things in perspective–like if they don’t answer your call. Instead of thinking the worst try analyzing the situation, maybe they’re at work, or out doing something that would prevent them from answering.
Give the situation a chance to work itself out first.
Therapists Specializing in Relationship Issues
6. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
When you’re anxious, even small issues can seem larger than life. Maybe they left their shoes out and you tripped over them, or they didn’t put something back.
When you’re adjusting in a new relationship it can make you go crazy.
Remember to just breathe and these are easy fixes–just mention that it bothers you instead of blowing up.
7. Just be Yourself
In a new relationship, you might start getting insecure about your own quirks. You wonder if your laugh is annoying, or maybe you chew too loud.
To protect yourself, you might start to store some of those quirks away in case they don’t like them.
It’s better to be yourself up front though because those quirks might end up being what they love about you the most.
8. Write it Down
With anxious thoughts swirling around in your head all day, it can be difficult to sort them out.
When you’re having a hard time organizing your thoughts, try writing them down. Then, once your worries are on paper, leave them there.
9. Do a Gut Check
There’s a difference between anxiety and intuition, or a gut feeling.
When you’re feeling anxious about a new relationship, step outside your own head and see if there are any external or physical signs, other than your own anxiety that you should take a closer look at.
If you’re ever unsure if it’s just your own anxiety or something else is going on, do a gut check.
10. Enjoy the Journey
New relationships are supposed to be exciting, as you get to know and learn about your new partner.
Embrace your new relationship and remember to be the beautiful person you are.
Next time you get anxious, remember these tips to help you get through it.
