If you identify as a woman who loves other women romantically or sexually, there might be a point in time when you will consider seeing a lesbian sex therapist.
Lesbian sex therapists can help you and your partner rekindle the spark in the bedroom, and improve your relationship more broadly.
In this article, we’ve looked at seven online services to help you connect with a lesbian sex therapist.
Want to skip right to the suggestions for lesbian sex therapists? Here are our 7 recommended therapy solutions:
Best Lesbian Sex Therapist Services
Finding a good psychologist or licensed therapist can prove difficult. Finding one who understands LGBTIQ issues, and who can help with sexual problems, is even more challenging.
Below, we’ve looked at seven platforms that can connect you with qualified, licensed lesbian sex therapists.
| Provider | Good For | Location | Pricing |
|---|---|---|---|
| BetteHelp | Quick match with the right therapist four you | Online therapy | $65 to $90 per week (billed every 4 weeks) |
| ReGain | Quick match with the right couples therapist for you | Online therapy | $65 to $90 per week (billed every 4 weeks) |
| Find-a-therapist.com | Finding and contacting the right therapist for you | Online and in-person therapy | Varies depending on the counselor fee |
| Online-therapy.com | Finding licensed and experienced therapists with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach | Online therapy | $40/week to $88/week (including our 20% discount first month) |
| Calmerry | Individual relationship counseling | Online therapy | $49.50 to $73.75 per week (billed monthly) |
| TalkSpace | Relationship counseling, marriage counseling, premarital counseling | Online therapy | Varies according to insurance coverage or self-pay options |
| American Board of Sexology | Contacting a clinical sexologist in your state | Online and in-person therapy | Varies depending on the counselor fee |
1. BetterHelp
Explore emotional well-being with BetterHelp – your partner in affordable online therapy. With 30,000+ licensed therapists and plans starting from only $65 per week, BetterHelp makes self-care accessible to all. Complete the questionnaire to match with the right therapist.
- Good for: Quick match with the right therapist four you.
- Location: Online therapy.
- Pricing: $65 to $90 per week (billed every 4 weeks).
- Features: iOS and Android app available, message your therapist anytime, live sessions are scheduled weekly and done via live chat, phone, or video call.
BetterHelp is one of the largest and most popular online therapy providers that can also connect clients in the gay and lesbian community to licensed counselors specializing in LGBTQ+ issues, including individual therapy for sex-related challenges.
Read our BetterHelp review here.
2. ReGain
Tailored for individuals and couples navigating relationship or marital issues – ReGain is your online relationship therapy solution. Starting at $65/week, you can schedule one weekly live session and message your therapist anytime. Start your path to healthier connections with ReGain – fill out their online assessment form.
- Good for: Quick match with the right couples therapist for you.
- Location: Online therapy.
- Pricing: $65 to $90 per week (billed every 4 weeks).
- Features: iOS and Android app available, message your therapist anytime, live sessions are scheduled weekly and done via live chat, phone, or video call.
ReGain is a great option if your sexual issues are related to your relationship/marriage more broadly, or you’d just prefer to get help with your partner, ReGain is a good choice. This website has a focus on relationships and intimacy counseling. Not all of their counselors specialize in LGBT issues, but you can easily find a therapist with experience helping lesbian couples.
3. Find-a-therapist.com
- Good for: Finding and contacting the right therapist for you.
- Location: Online and in-person therapy.
- Pricing: Varies depending on the counselor fee.
- Features: Filter your search, find accessible and effective online and in-person therapy, find guides on different types of therapy.
On find-a-therapist.com you can find a comprehensive directory of therapists and counselors with experience in different issues, including sex and intimacy-related problems. You can use the filter options and categories to customize your search and find the right lesbian sex therapist for you and your partner.
4. Online-therapy.com
Discover transformative online therapy with Online-therapy.com. Through cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), Online-therapy.com offers individual and couples support starting at $45/week. Engage in sessions via video, voice, or text for maximum flexibility. Fill out their online questionnaire to get started.
- Good for: Finding licensed and experienced therapists with a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach.
- Location: Online therapy.
- Pricing: $40/week to $88/week (including our 20% discount first month).
- Features: Unlimited messaging with your therapist, including a daily journal and activity plan, yoga and meditation videos, and tests to see your progress.
On online-therapy.com you can connect with licensed sex therapists specialized in LBGTIQ+ issues. All therapists in this platform use a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) approach, which is very effective in managing sex and intimacy-related issues.
Read our online-therapy.com review here.
5. Calmerry
Embark on a journey of mental wellness with Calmerry. With diverse subscription options, starting at just $50, Calmerry makes prioritizing your mental health simple and accessible. You can message your therapist any day or schedule a live therapy session from the comfort of your home from any device.
- Good for: Individual relationship counseling.
- Location: Online therapy.
- Pricing: $49.50 to $73.75 per week (billed monthly).
- Features: Message to your counselor anytime, text therapy and video therapy according to the plan you choose, free counselor switching.
Calmerry is an online platform that provides individual relationship counseling services, including sex therapy for lesbian individuals. On Clamerry you must fill out a short questionnaire to assess your needs and you will be matched with the right lesbian sex therapist for you.
Read our comparison between Calmerry and BetterHelp here.
6. TalkSpace
Tailored to individuals, couples, teens, and offering psychiatry services, Talkspace plans kick off at a wallet-friendly $69 per week. What’s more, many health insurances also cover their services, enhancing accessibility and affordability. Complete a questionnaire and get matched with the right therapist for you.
- Good for: Relationship counseling, marriage counseling, premarital counseling.
- Location: Online therapy.
- Pricing: Varies according to insurance coverage or self-pay options.
- Features: Accepts insurance, pick your therapist from a list of recommendations, live video sessions and unlimited messaging with your therapist.
On TalkSpace you can select your sex therapist after a short questionnaire where you can express you want a sex therapist with experience in LGBTIQ+ issues. There you can check the therapist’s profiles before making a choice, and once you pick a therapist you can start the therapy process.
Read our TalkSpace review here.
7. American Board of Sexology
- Good for: Contacting a clinical sexologist in your state.
- Location: Online and in-person therapy.
- Pricing: Varies depending on the counselor fee.
- Features: Find sex therapists in many different countries, online directory, non-profit organization.
The American Board of Sexology has an extensive online directory where you can narrow down your search based on location, specialization, or other criteria such as experience in lesbian couples issues. There you can check the profiles of each therapist and then contact the ones you prefer.
Why Look for a Specialist in Lesbian Sex Therapy?
If your relationship is facing a sexual problem and you or your partner’s mental/sexual health is suffering as a result, it could be worth seeing a specialist.
To get help, you could seek out a regular sex therapist, however these professionals might not have the right knowledge or experience in how lesbian couples express themselves sexually.
Here are some of the reasons to look for a lesbian sex therapist specifically.
Lesbian Sex Therapists are Better at Analyzing LGBTIQ+ Issues
Lesbian ladies can have problems in the bedroom for a number of different reasons. Factors such as social issues, cultural elements, and your psyche could be the underlying cause of your sexual issues.
It might also be that you internalize sociocultural standards, leading to difficulties with your sexual experience. We even see a gap in sexual research, which is often performed by men and focuses on heterosexual relationships.
A counselor focused on lesbian issues can help to provide clarity in this area. Some of the issues that lesbian couples face aren’t typically experienced in a heterosexual relationship.
Regular Therapy is Sometimes Focused on Heterosexual Norms of Sexuality
In previous years, loving a same-sex partner was often seen as taboo – before 1975 homosexuality was even classified as a mental illness.
These days, we understand that there is a wide sexual orientation continuum, and identifying as gay/lesbian is perfectly normal.
Still, heterosexual norms have an impact on how some people define their own life, even though they are lesbian. These norms can have an impact on how you express your gender identity and sexual orientation.
Some counselors still see heterosexuality as the norm, and may therefore misunderstand the issue you’re facing. They may analyze your situation from a heterosexual perspective.
If you can find a good therapist who focuses on gay/lesbian relationships specifically, they will understand how to help you and your partner.
How to Choose the Right Lesbian Sex Therapist
This may seem obvious to some, but the first thing to know is to avoid conversion therapy. These practices are dangerous and unethical. If your therapist makes you feel like your sexual orientation is an illness, you should terminate the service and look for another provider.
It is important to choose a therapist that is open-minded and specializes in these issues. Search for someone experienced with LGBT-related sexual issues, and don’t be afraid to ask them about the specific issue you’re trying to solve. This will help you ensure you hire someone who knows how to help you.
Other things to look out for when selecting a therapist include board licensing by your state. This ensures that you can find a quality provider with the right experience and knowledge. Licensing is available for clinical social workers, psychologists, sexologists, marriage and family therapists, and professional counselors.
It’s also a good idea to select someone sex-positive and LGBT supportive. As mentioned before, if your therapist tries to convert you into being more heterosexual, it is time to look for a different counselor.
Problems That can be Solved with Lesbian Sex Therapy
Lesbian sex therapy can help to address a number of different issues.
A problem that lesbians sometimes face is what some researchers describe as “lesbian bed death”. This often means a complete cessation of sex in the relationship. Relationships with bed death can still be very intimate, but sexual desire and initiative is non-existent from one or both parties.
While regular sex therapists can surely empathize if you struggle with low sexual interest or drive, they might not be as knowledgeable about this issue in the context of a lesbian relationship.
Some women believe that less desire might be because of biological factors (asynchronous cycles or menopause), external stressors, having a symbiotic relationship or just being too similar and losing sex drive as a result.
Reduced initiative might be because these roles are less fixed in their relationships in comparison to heterosexual relationships. Some women also report that even though they do desire sex, they won’t show initiative as they are not sure their partner wants to do it and they don’t want to be rejected (or don’t want to pressure their partner into it).
Whatever the issue, your counselor can help you and your partner get the to bottom of it.
Other common issues that lesbian therapists can help with include:
- The relationship between your sexual orientation and your gender conformity. A therapist can help you define the difference between these aspects, and you can explore this in a safe space.
- A difference between sexual needs in a monogamous relationship.
- Being lesbian while being a part of a minority culture or a certain religion where being LGBT is not tolerated.
- Coming out, and the effect of this on your loved ones. After accepting your sexual orientation, it is usual to also share this with your family or friends and adjust. Finding a supportive network can be essential for your mental health.
- Stigma and discrimination may lead lesbians to internalize shame or prejudice about their sexuality. This might impact your self-esteem, mood, and potentially cause psychological distress. Further, such shame might stop some people from exploring their intimate or sexual side fully.
Conclusion
In short, if you have issues related to your sexual drive, orientation, or identity, it’s a good idea to search for help. Online platforms can be a great help to process your past trauma and answer questions about how to resolve lesbian sex issues.
Still not sure how to get help? Feel free to contact us and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can.
