How Do You Know When Its Time to Break Up?

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Your romantic relationships may be the deepest bond you have with another human. Your personalities, emotions and behaviors become so deeply intertwined that you’re almost inseparable.

However, the reality could be that there are several reasons for you to separate. Your hearts, lovingly glued together make this process hard—sometimes making it feel impossible to tell when it’s time to walk away.

If you find yourself having doubts and suddenly looking for answers to questions you never thought you would ask, then we’re here to help you.

It doesn’t give us any pleasure highlighting the red flags. But when they’re stuck deep into the ground of your relationship, it’s better to raise your white flag and surrender to the truth—your relationship needs to end.

For those of you locked in a state of confusion, finding yourself in a position of not knowing what to do, below are some key indicators that you need to leave your relationship.

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1. Your Arguments Have Become Battles

Couples argue. That’s a fact.

The truth is arguing can have a healthy impact on your relationship. When done respectfully, thrashing it out is a way of helping you to better understand each other’s position.

It gives you an opportunity to show understanding and compromise with the objective of you both moving forward. And that should always be the motive…moving forward.

If, however, your arguments have become a battleground, then there’s an issue.

Allow me to explain what I mean when I say battleground. If your disputes have become a war with each other in which the motive is not to resolve but rather to outdo the other, then you’re in a state of conflict.

You’re no longer working with each other but against each other – this has a huge negative impact on your relationship’s health.

Ask yourself, “Do I want to always get one over the person I’m with?” If the answer is yes, then you’ve got some thinking to do.

2. You’re More Worried About Hurting Them

If you’re questioning your relationship then you will be thinking about several outcomes. Thoughts such as “what will I do next?” “How will I survive on my own?” And, “how is this going to impact them,” will be racing in your mind.

For the latter, the thought of hurting a person you’re in love with (or at least once were) can be difficult to handle. Feelings of guilt take over and although deep down you’re ready to walk away, you suffocate the drive to leave with the overwhelming feeling of not wanting to be the bad guy.

This way of thinking does neither of you any good. It keeps you locked in a cycle that you want to get out of. It will cause stress and continue to damage the already toxic environment your relationship has found itself in.

So, don’t be a hero. Take ownership of the situation, do what’s best for you (and them) and walk away.

3. You Don’t Trust Them

If you’re entering a relationship with the mentality of being in it for the long term, then trust is going to be a core component of that being a success or not.

There are several reasons why trust is lacking in a relationship. Something they’ve done, your own inability to be trustworthy, or something you’re carrying over from a previous encounter.

If trust does not develop over the first one to two years (infatuation phase) or at some point trust is broken, then you’re really going to struggle to find it.

This will only make for insecurities and instability. And you’re worth far more than that.

4. Sex is Keeping You Stuck

Great sex is amazing when you have it. But it can also be a cause of blinding you to the realities of everything that is wrong with your relationship.

Good sex is addictive. Letting go of that is difficult. But if your bedroom (or kitchen, or best friend’s shed at a garden party) activities are the only box that’s being ticked, then your relationship isn’t going to be sustainable.

Good sex is available with many people. Don’t hold yourself back by thinking you won’t obtain it again.

5. You no Longer Recognize Yourself

I’m sure you’ve heard the concept of people “losing themselves” when in a relationship. Sadly, as much as our relationships can influence our positive development, they can also hinder it too.

If you’re so suffocated by your relationship that you can no longer distinguish between it and your own personal growth, then you could have some problems.

Having our own journey in life is still possible even when sharing your time with someone else.

If the personality traits that make you love and care about yourself are no longer visible because of your unhealthy romance, then find a new path – find yourself.

6. Your Friends Are Overly Concerned

Friends are a great source of support. They can also be the people that tell you the things you least want to hear.

If your friends are constantly concerned about the impact your relationship is having on you, then it’s certainly worth listening to them.

Yes, they only know what they see. But friends are also good at seeing what the person in love can’t see too. An outside perspective from the ones closest to you is something you should take seriously.

You Can’t Force a Happy Relationship

Look we get it. You, like the rest of us, just want to be happy with the person you love. You don’t want to invest so much time, energy and emotion for something to not be a success.

The truth is, in certain scenarios, the biggest success you can have is to know when something just won’t work out. Sure it will hurt. Breakups are never fun – that’s why so many avoid them even when they shouldn’t.

But for you to be happy, to be stable and to have your Mr or Mrs “right,” you have to make difficult decisions. The pain of walking away will only be short term, however, the benefits will last forever.

Additional Resources

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About the author

Dan Ginn
Dan Ginn is an experienced feature writer and content creator with a background in photography, health and wellbeing and cultural topics.

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