Thursday, February 25, 2010
By: Sherry A. Gaba, LCSW

You may be a single woman by choice, a single parent, a single woman who has just been dumped or has done the dumping, or just someone that enjoys being a singleton. Whatever your circumstances are, being single is a time to celebrate and honor who you right at this very moment. It is a time to honor all of the opportunities that await you such as finding who your authentic self is. That’s right, take the mask off and enter the place of the un-known without being in fear. Only the un-known offers us infinite possibilities for future love if that’s what you want or maybe a trip to India, or perhaps taking that yoga class you keep putting off. Anything and everything is possible when you are single.

Here are the 10 reasons why being single can be satisfying.
1.   It is a time to be true to yourself and find out what really fulfills you. What is it that you really value and want out of your life?

2.  It is a time to find out why you are here and what is your life purpose? What are you here to do on this planet and what is it that is meaningful to you?

3.  It is a time where you have control over what you do and how you do it. There is no one looking over your shoulder telling you how to spend your money or where to take a vacation. You are on your own, and you can go anywhere your heart desires.

4.  It is a time to develop yourself spiritually and take a look at your unique spiritual nature. You get to ask those existential questions such as what is a higher power. Is there something outside and separate from myself that is a silent witness to my life as it unfolds?

5.   It is a time to figure out what it is I really want out of an intimate relationship? What is it I contribute to relationship? What is the nature and quality of the relationship I desire? What are the deal breakers in what is acceptable and unacceptable in a partner? You get to do the choosing rather than always waiting to be chosen.

6.  It is a time to build your community and support. Invite someone for coffee, dinner, a walk, or a talk. Having a network of friends can be one of the most nurturing things you can do for yourself?

7.  You get to dine wherever and whenever you want? You don’t have to cook for anyone or eat some strange type of delicacy just to please your partner.
8.  You get to say NO NO NO and set clear boundaries for yourself. When you establish healthy boundaries, your self esteem sky rockets and you develop safety and trust in yourself and others because no one can overstep the boundaries you have created for yourself.

9.  You learn how to be present in the moment without judging yourself or others harshly. You become consciously aware of the preciousness of each moment enjoying your sacred alones with complete joy and freedom.

10.  You are accountable to no one but yourself. Once you learn to count on you, the possibilities are endless.

Being single is about reframing and redefining what being alone means. You no longer have to play victim to your singleness. If you are looking for true love, it magically comes to you without any effort because you radiate confidence, self assurance without neediness or desperation. This can be the time of your life if you believe it is… the joyous space between what you  were, what you are now, and what you are becoming.

Author : Sherry A. Gaba LCSW
A graduate of USC, Sherry Gaba, LCSW, is a Licensed Psychotherapist and Life Coach who specializes in alcohol and drug abuse, divorce issues, single parent support, couples, families, and adolescents. You can learn more about Ms. Gaba here on the Directory.