Tips for Co-Parenting after Divorce

Submitted by Peacetalks1
Mon, 28 Jan 2013
Co-parenting under the best of circumstances often presents challenges. These challenges are heightened ever further after divorce. Still, with a little effort and a lot of cooperation, a healthy plan for co-parenting with your ex is attainable, as long as both of you keep the welfare of your children your top priority. Any resentment or animosity you may still hold towards your spouse has to take back seat. It's important to always remember that your divorce in California was between you and your spouse; the children had nothing to do with it. Moreover, your spouse will always be your child's parent, so the best thing to do is acknowledge that relationship, respect it, and proceed with a mature approach.

Some of the best ways to keep your co-parenting plan on track include the following:

Always Focus on the Positive

Maintain a positive stance when you speak to your children about your ex. Never speak ill or make harsh comments about him/her in front of them, and never discuss your relationship's problems with them. Also, make sure that your children understand that the love you lost for your spouse does not carry over to them - they are still loved and always will be.


Like any relationship, communication is key, and your relationship with your spouse is no exception. No one expects you to become best friends after a divorce, but civility goes a long way. Keep the lines of communication open and neutral, especially when it comes to issues relating to your children. If you can't find it in yourselves to stay on an even keel when in contact, seek the help of a professional mediator in Los Angeles or counselor. These professionals have the tools and experience to help you confront your feelings about your ex and, hopefully, move past them. They can also help you come to view your ex more as your child's parent than as your former spouse - a very important distinction when dealing with post divorce issues involving children.

Blended Families

Blended families have become more and more common in our society; however, the nature of this family dynamic creates its own unique set of potential problems. It's up to the adults in the relationship(s) to maintain a positive environment for all the children. As stated in the previous point, communication is essential to healthy relationships, and might even be more critical when dealing with the challenges of a blended family, as more people are involved. Again, we realize that divorce can bring on negative feelings towards your ex, but it remains critical that the children of divorced parents, including those in blended families, know that they are all loved. Respect must be consistently practiced by all the adults in a blended family, not only towards one another, but towards the children as well.

Create a Co-Parenting Plan

Parenting is tough. That's why we advise drawing up a co-parenting plan that you can easily refer to as a guideline. By drawing up a plan, you and your ex can discuss what each of you feels is important, and reach a common ground regarding how to raise your children. Your attorney, a court mediator or even a counselor can advise on how to create a co-parenting plan. If you'd prefer a group environment, co-parenting classes are available in most areas, and are particularly helpful to couples in the process of separation and divorce in California.
Diane Mercer is Family Lawyer and the founder of Peace talks, Divorce Mediators-provides Parenting Plans and Co parenting mediaton: it helps to develop a child custody plan and develos co-parents aptitude for divorcing parents and also help to understand what is divorce mediation?