Seven Short Steps to Relationship Success for Guys
Friday, September 11, 2009

By: Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC

If there is no time to waste, use one or more of the seven short steps to turn around the tempo in your relationship or marriage. Many guys that I talk with call me at the 11th hour, when it may or may not be too late to save their relationship. They go in a panic mode, and wants to do whatever they can to save their relationship. The simple fact: it’s not as easy as that. But try telling that to some of these desperate guys.

Here’s seven short steps to improving your chances for relationship success, and hopefully staving off some more sour times for you and her. Here we go:

• Listen well. if she feels heard, and she feels like you’re not trying to fix it, you’re doing well.
• Take ownership or responsibility. You’ve probably helped contribute to the situation.
• Understand your role. Don’t just apologize because you think that’s what she wants to hear, and for something that you didn’t do. It’s phony, and she’ll see through it.
• Prioritize her. A lot of times, well-intentioned guys prioritize other things, like their friends, career, ESPN, or anything else but her.
• Improve your ability to give her affection, whether it’s verbal, physical, or sexual. They’re all related.
• Understand what she needs from you, and do it.
• Time, energy and variety: prioritize her by creating time for her, put some energy into the planning and try to infuse some variety into activities that you spend with her. Try something new each time.

I hope that these seven short tips trigger something in you want to do a little bit different. Relationships are a lot of work, and those that think that just cruising through a relationship is okay, it ain’t. Relationships, like everything else in our lives, yield great gains when attended to on daily basis.

Author : Jason Fierstein MA, LPC
As the "man that men will talk to," Jason Fierstein, MA, LPC, is a counselor for men and couples and practices in Phoenix, AZ. He works with guys who want to improve their lives, and make happier wives. He is currently accepting new clients. Please visit his profile for more information or to set an appointment.