As our children grow up it becomes harder to direct them.  No matter  how effective we may have been as parents of young children, once they become adults, our parenting style needs to change.  Many well meaning parents do not realize this fact.

As young adults, these grown ups now expect different responses from their parents.  They do not usually welcome unsolicited advice, nor they do accept criticism without getting resentful.  If parents treat their grown offspring as needing direction, there is often friction which the parent did not see coming.

So what do parents do?  Boundaries are important.  It is important to ask first if the grown kids want advice or feedback.  Then it is crucial that both parties agree that there will be no insulting talk, profanity, or sarcasm.

Parents need to be brief and make sure that  the son or daughter is open at that time to what they are being told.  Repeating is not helpful, nor is bringing up the past.  Rules for effective dialogue apply here.

1.  Choose your time wisely.

2.  Be brief and clear on what you want them to do.

3.  Set boundaries on how you want them to treat you.

 4.  End the discussion if it seems to be going off track or gets ugly.

 5.  Listen to their point of view and expect them to listen to yours.

 6.  Try to end positively even if no agreement has been reached.

KEEP IT BRIEF Learn more about Deanna Kasten here.